Sometimes it just takes time

Sometimes it just takes time. Human reproduction is not simple. It can be complicated. If you're trying to fall pregnant, sometimes takes up to three to six months, can be as long as eight to nine months. When you're young, it's okay. You can wait for that long. When you're older, say over 35 and you're really wanting to have two or three children, every month that passes by is difficult.

What initially is just something between two people's desire to make a baby becomes a whole lot complicated. You start Googling things. You start looking at information that's available on the web. And you started looking at the chemist aisles where it shows how to test for ovulation. You start downloading apps that tell you when is the right time to try. You start talking to girl friends, friends, family, and then you get absolute information overload.

While some of this information is good and it's good to research a little bit and try and improvise and improve your chances, there's a lot of information out there that has to be taken in context. What is somebody else's story is not necessarily your story. What was the problem with somebody else is not necessarily the problem that you have. It's very hard to differentiate what's right from wrong.

Your friends and family who are there to help and support you equally are desiring to become their auntie or uncle at the same time. So they are biased, and they're pushing you into doing stuff that might not necessarily be effective. One in six couples will need some form of assisted reproduction. It's common. There'll be one child, even up to two children in a classroom in Australia that have been born with the help of assisted reproduction. It's probably something that we're aware of. But we're also able to acknowledge that sometimes it just takes time.

I had a patient the other day who saw me a few years ago. I saw her once. She'd been trying for nine months. I tracked her cycle and told her what to do, some general advice. She rang me up and said she's pregnant. We did the pregnancy scan. There was a positive heartbeat at six weeks. Off she went to the obstetrician. Fortunately, everything went well.

Two years on, she called me again and said that she was having difficulty. She'd been trying for a few months. I did pretty much what I did the first time around, saw her, I tracked her cycle. She rang me again after two weeks and said, "Guess what? I'm pregnant." It is amazing. It's an amazing feeling.

She came back for her six-week scan for the second baby, which seemed to be going as per track, on track. Sorry. As she left, we both smiled. I said to her, "It's not hard getting you pregnant." And she said to me, "Next time, I'll just FaceTime you." We both laughed at this. I do wish her all the best. I hope everything goes well with her, and I can see her again for a third time.

If you're having difficulty falling pregnant, you're not sure what's going on, and you've had enough advice from Dr. Google, and your friends, and family, and it's just getting to be a bit too much, come and have a consultation. It doesn't hurt. It doesn't mean that you'd need IVF treatment. You'd want to just clarify some of the myths, might give you some direction, and hopefully, the desired outcome.

Please feel free to call my office on 03 9473 4730 and make an appointment.


(c) Chandrika Parmar